“Would you like white table linens or ivory?” I stared at the caterer vacantly as I slowly processed her words. I could have never dreamed up the miniscule details that one never thinks of when planning a wedding. I tried to imagine what the lighted tent would look like with white then ivory table linens, and something told me that it would make very little difference to anyone. That vacant expression has become the permanent structure of my face at every venue, photographer, caterer, DJ, etc. appointment I’ve been on. I really wouldn’t be surprised if these people thought something was mentally wrong with me.
The truth of it is, I do want all of these details to be perfect; I just want someone to decide them for me. Blame it on my or my fiancé’s even more laid back attitude, but it’s difficult for us to get psyched about flower arrangements or which color fabric napkin we should pick. The list for planning what is, for many, the most awaited day of his or her life is endless. I swore I would not get lost in this world of ribbons, calligraphy, colors and, did I mention, stress; yet here I am, wrapped up in it with no way out and countless more details to plan. Daily, I think to myself, oh, so this is why people elope. I have no doubt that the party with our family and our friends will be monumental. I have no doubt that my wedding day will be the best day of my life. My doubt lies in that the color of the fabric napkins I pick will determine that happiness.
At the end of the day you will be married. I find such faith and assurance in that line, and it is the one thing that keeps me smiling every day. I am marrying the most amazing man for me. It took 27 years for our paths to cross, but ever since they have, I have not doubted that our meeting each other was grand design. We knew within days that we would never date another soul again. I know these lines sound like clichés. People say stuff like this all the time. All I can tell you is that sometimes, it’s true. Sometimes love is real. When I stand at the alter next summer surrounded by all the people I love and all the details I’ve spent a year planning, my focus will only be on one pair of brown eyes. And that, my friends, is what makes all of this other crap worth it.
P.S. The pic below is compliments of my beautiful and talented little sister, Bekah.